He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
