Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
