Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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