Too much gin, very little bucket
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
