barbara walters just said penis...
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
