Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Operation Purity has been aborted
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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