This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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