Me too!
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
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Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
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Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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