I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
