So drunk its hurt
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize