I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
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