well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize