Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
