Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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