When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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