I'm pants shitting drunk right now
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
