Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
This is my life. Enjoy the view
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