it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
