I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
