the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Your penis caused this!
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
