please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
