if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
