Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
