I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
The Olympian is in my bed
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
