I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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