Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
