we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
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i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
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I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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