i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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