You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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