she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
