This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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