My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
