All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
