I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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