I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
God gave him joint rollers for hands
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
