There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
