He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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