You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
