Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
