I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
