Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
