I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
