were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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