I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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