Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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