Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
