i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
