Plan B is the new Plan A
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
