you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
PANTIES FOUND
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
