Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
