...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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