And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
