i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
