roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
