plz talk dirty to me
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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