Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
