oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
