Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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