and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
