Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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