I just saw a hot homeless man
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
