i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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