Sry I called you an 8
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
